


Growing Pains (working title)

by Lacy_Star



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Dadza, Fluff, Gen, absolutely hate the tags for this fandom they confuse me, family au, its not rlly an au but whatever, its what they DESERVE, sleepy bois inc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27989874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacy_Star/pseuds/Lacy_Star
Summary: It was just going to be a quick run to grab some glowstone and go home. Phil was planning on a quick in and out and that was it.He hadn’t meant to domesticate a piglin, or whatever the hell he’d done. He’d just wanted some damn glowstone.---AKA: Phil accidentally adopts a piglin from the nether. And then another kid. And another. And why not another?
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 241





	Growing Pains (working title)

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not plagiarize or steal any of my work.

It was just going to be a quick run to grab some glowstone and go home. Phil was planning on a quick in and out and that was it. 

He’d already taken most of the glowstone that was close to his portal, so he’d have to journey out a bit further. That was fine. Sword in hand, he began a brief trek, conscious of any ghasts he might pass.

He was caught completely off guard at the sound of a high pitched squeal, and he spun around quickly to search for the source of the sound, seeing nothing. That was, until he looked down. Racing towards him on a baby hoglin was a tiny piglin, holding a bow that was twice the size of its body, with an arrow knocked and pointed right at him.

Now, Phil hadn’t been expecting this. There weren’t usually piglins in this area whenever he passed, so he hadn’t bothered to put on anything gold. It did make him wonder how this one strayed so far from its pack, though.

He was so distracted with this musing that he didn’t think to dodge the incoming arrow. Thankfully, given that the piglin was tiny and couldn’t even dream of holding that crossbow properly, the arrow landed a foot in front of it and pointed much too far to the left. The force of the recoil from the shot, though, sent the piglin flying back, falling off the hoglin and landing on its side. The hoglin it had been riding squealed, startled, and raced away quickly.

“Uh oh,” Phil instinctively said, hurrying over to the piglin who still laid on the ground. He crouched down next to it, examining for injuries. “Are you okay, kid?”

It snorted and sat up quickly, shaking its head rapidly to clear it, before turning its gaze on Phil again. Its nostrils flared and it squealed angrily, stumbling to its feet and racing forward to bite down on his arm. Its teeth were pathetically dull, and Phil had to stifle a laugh as it determinedly gnawed at his wrist.

“I know I’m not wearing anything gold, I’m sorry.” Phil paused. Maybe he had something laying around that would satiate the little guy. He rummaged around in his pocket before pulling out a single gold nugget and holding it out to the thing. “Here,” He said, “Will this make you feel better?”

The piglin stared at it and snorted before slowly taking it. Instantly it popped the nugget in its mouth and started to chew on it.

“Oh, no no-“ Phil cut in, “Careful, you could choke!” Did he have any carrots? Pigs liked carrots. The thing might’ve been hungry. Again he rummaged around and, to his luck, managed to produce one. “Try eating this instead.”

The piglin spat out the nugget with a _patooey_ and eyed the carrot suspiciously. Phil tried to explain, “You probably don’t have these down here, huh? This is a carrot. It’s food.” He bit off the tip of the carrot, chewed, and swallowed to demonstrate. “See?” 

It snuffled at him as he held it back out, but slowly took it. It bit down on it, chewed thoughtfully, and swallowed. Slowly, it took another bite, its eyes going wide. Then another, and another, and soon it had demolished the whole thing. As soon as it had finished, it toddled forward and started to tug at Phil’s pocket again, searching for more.

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Was that good? I think I might have another…” He did. He handed it to the piglin and straightened up. “Why don’t you take that and run back to your parents? What’re you doing so far from them?”

The thing gave him a pointed glare as it practically inhaled the carrot in its hooves.

“You can’t really speak, huh?” Phil chuckled, “That’s alright. Well, be careful out here, okay?” He gave it a smile before turning and continuing on his way.

He walked ahead a little bit, pausing to take a bite of bread he had on him, and it was only when he turned back that he realized the piglin was following him, hot on his trail.

“What’re you doing!?” He exclaimed, “Run along now!”

It ignored him, racing forward and biting down on the end of his robe, pulling in an attempt to tear it.

“You’re a violent little guy, eh?” Phil laughed, shaking his head. “Well, I’m out of carrots, so I don’t know what to tell you.”

The piglin didn’t seem to understand. The fabric of his robe slipped from its mouth and it fell back, landing on its butt with a dejected snort.

“Sorry!” Phil laughed, “Seriously, go home now, okay?” And again he turned and continued on his way.

He spotted some clumps of glowstone, but he’d have to cross a pretty big lava pool to do that. That was fine as long as he was careful. He scaled down a netherrack hill, scarily near the edge when he heard a thump and snort behind him.

He turned, and the damn thing was still there, staring up at him. It seemed to have fallen a ways, landing dangerously close to the lava. Panic flared in Phil’s chest.  
  
“No no no-” He muttered, racing back and scooping the piglin up. It instantly bent down and tried to bite his hand, but he ignored it. Clearly he wasn’t getting rid of this thing.

He sighed and set it on his shoulders. “If you’re going to follow me, I don’t want you getting hurt. Stay right there, okay?”

For what it was worth, the piglin stayed pretty quiet. Perhaps it wasn’t used to feeling so tall.

Phil, extra careful, navigated his way over to the glowstone and broke it, collecting as much dust as he could. It flittered down around them, and the piglin sneezed when it got in its nose, which made Phil laugh. God forbid he was becoming even remotely attached to this thing.

Once he’d collected his fill, he carefully navigated the both of them back, and once they were on safe, stable land, he set the piglin down. “Alright, buddy, I’ve got to get home now. It was, uh, nice meeting you?”

The piglin stared up at him and snorted. Phil gave a little wave before turning and strolling back towards the portal. It was unsurprising when he made it back and realized the piglin was still there, peering up at him.

He sighed and crouched down to level with it. “Look, you _really_ can’t come with. You’re gonna get sick if you follow me out. And I bet your parents are worried.”

It huffed at him, blinking blankly.

Philza shook his head and stood up. “Maybe I’ll see you again soon, buddy.” And then he turned and walked through the portal, his vision going woozy and purple.

He stepped out into the overworld, air filling his lungs, turned back, and saw the young piglin, now zombified upon its first breath of oxygen, staring back at him with a dead stare.

“Oh- _God…”_ Oh Shit, he’d killed a child. Maybe if he nudged it back in it would turn back? He knew that was fruitless before he even attempted. It just stared at him blankly, its pink flesh turning slowly a sallow yellow as if it was decaying right off its body.

There had to be at least something he could _try_. There had been a time a while ago when he’d helped a villager who’d been infected and gotten him back. Humans could be zombified and brought back… couldn’t piglins?

This was the frantic reasoning Phil was trying to give himself as he said, “Okay- just stay there-”

He rushed as quickly as he could to get back to the house, which thankfully was only a sprint away, all the while thinking that he should’ve blocked the portal on his way out. Of course it would follow him, he was an idiot. The damn thing didn’t know English.

Splash potion of weakness. Not that it would hurt him anyways, so long as he didn’t accidentally elbow it too hard, and not that it was even capable of such a thing, as it had proven in the nether, but better safe than sorry. 

He got one of those brewing as soon as he was inside and to the nearest brewing stand. Then a golden apple. But pigs didn’t eat apples. Well, in theory, they probably could, but Phil wasn’t sure that would work. This was all probably going to be a disaster. Phil would probably have to nudge the poor thing back through the portal and avoid looking at it whenever he went in. Maybe he’d make a new portal, actually, and try somewhere else.

Not that Phil really knew why he cared- often piglins were simply in the way, though you could get a few ender pearls off them sometimes. He supposed because it was a kid, for God’s sake. All it wanted was a few damn carrots.

 _Carrots_. Golden carrots. Those were good to heal. Not as strong as apples, but maybe enough? It would at least eat it, probably, if it was still capable.

Phil nearly yelped, startled when the brewing stand gurgled to signify the potions were done. He rubbed his temples and added a spoon of gunpowder to the mix. Golden carrots, he had some of those lying around.

This was asinine logic, of course, but that didn’t stop Phil from hoping when he headed back out into sunlight, potion in one hand and gold carrot in the other.

The piglin was still standing, staring at nothing. It was startling, how quick its fire had gone out. One moment full of spirit and bloodthirst and energy, the next… nothing. Phil avoided direct eye contact with its white, empty eyes.

He stood back a safe distance and threw the potion, careful not to hit the piglin, and it shattered on the ground a few feet in front of it. It hardly flinched when the liquid landed on its skin and swirled up around it in vapors. 

Phil carefully approached it. “Hey… buddy.” Please let this work, he thought, “Remember these?” He held out the carrot, and its nose twitched ever so slightly. “It looks a bit different, but it tastes almost the same. Kinda like… uh… it's just covered in sugar, y’know? Well, you don’t, you’ve probably never had sugar-”

He really had to shut up. Its mouth fell open, nose still twitching as Phil held the carrot closer to its face. Hesitantly, Phil fed it the carrot from his hand, and it chewed slowly, simply, and swallowed.

Instantly it collapsed on its back and started to convulse, which in any other situation would be absolutely horrific, but from experience Phil was thinking this was a good thing, and that maybe, just possibly, it had worked. Still, it was grotesque to watch a child writhe on the floor, and he averted his eyes. He’d seen many a zombie piglin in his time, of course, but this one felt different. It felt worse. Why was he so weighted with guilt?

And then he heard a faint, frantic inhale of air and turned back, and the poor thing was coughing, its skin all patched and healthy as it shakily sat up.

“Kid?” Phil asked hesitantly, and its gaze flew to him. The noise it gave wasn’t _quite_ snort, but wasn’t quite word. It was stuck between a grunt and gurgle.

Then it glared at him, and Phil had never felt so relieved to be glared at, and he sighed in relief. “Oh thank _God_. Holy shit, I can’t believe that worked…”

Its glare disappeared and it tilted its head, squinting with a, “Nnn?”

“You _died_ . Well… Not _exactly_ , or you would be a ghost, but you still-”

“Mph-” It blinked and stared down at itself, then back up at Phil, its expression pinched in complete confusion.

“Well, you’re okay now,” Phil sighed in relief, “Okay, you _need_ to go home. Seriously. You can’t follow me.” He pointed to the portal, not far away, “Go through there.”

The kid glanced back to the portal, then to the ground.

“I’m serious-” Phil emphasized, before trailing off.

It ran a hand (hoof?) across the ground, letting a perplexed breath out as the tiny strands bent so easily under its touch, and Phil realized that it wasn’t being reluctant, it was wondering, “ _why does the ground have fur_?”

It had never seen the overworld. How surreal that must be.

He went quiet as the kid stood and looked around, its gaze tilting up to the sky where a thousand puffy clouds sauntered by, and it raised a hoof to touch one, probably wondering _“how far does it go, and why can’t I touch them?_ ”

Then it wandered forward, and Phil let it, and it crouched before a flower as if it were wondering _“what is this_ ?” When it leaned forward and sniffed it, it sneezed, and again Phil couldn’t help but chuckle. It’s head lifted and glared at him for laughing at its expense, and Phil came to the startling realization that it had _recognized that he’d been laughing at its expense._

“Hey…” He asked, “Can you… understand me?”

It chewed over the question, frowning, then shrugged and gave a returning, “... Mmmnuh?” Which Phil interpreted as a pretty solid “ _sort of?”_

“Oh my God!” Phil exclaimed in disbelief, and its ears perked up, and it quickly looked around in panic as if he’d yelled fire.

“Wait…” He said, and it paused at the serious tone, still on high alert.

“Nnhm mhmph?” It glanced around, unsure.

“Wait… hold on…” Maybe it didn’t understand. “Okay… um… Can you point up for me?”

And it just stared at him, brow furrowed in worried frustration, trying to give a returning, “... Humh?”

Okay, it had recognized it had been asked a question, but not the question itself. Which, while not what Phil had originally thought, was still incredible. Whenever he’d said a word to it in the nether, it might’ve expressed curiosity or anger in its own right, but it had ultimately ignored him. But _now_ it was actively attempting to participate in the conversation and trying to make sense of his words. 

It was _recognizing his tone._

And those sounds it was making were _far_ from the snorts and snuffles it had been making before. There were grasps of vocalization there, like a baby struggling to talk, like it had been given a new set of pipes.

Now, Phil was no scientist, but, “Did I just make a new fucking species or something!?”

The kid had gotten bored of the weird human’s musings and had begun to wander off again towards a tree. It felt the trunk, probably wondering, “ _why is this stem so rough?_ ” or even a general, “ _where the hell am I?_ ”

Phil had to take a solid minute of nervous laughing to calm himself down. Right. What the hell. He had to communicate with this thing somehow and get it home. Its parents must’ve been worried sick.

He reached for a stick, trying not to think about the alien species he’d made, and etched a quick drawing into the dirt. The kid was continuing to wander and explore, but Phil made sure he didn’t get too far. “Hey!”

The kid looked towards him with a squint.

Phil gestured him over. “Come here.”

Hesitantly it approached him again, and Phil pointed to the dirt. He wasn’t an artist, but he’d drawn two taller piglin stick figures next to a smaller piglin. He pointed to the taller pair, meant to be parents, with the stick. “Where are they?”

The kid blinked. Then it held out its hand for the stick. Phil passed it over.

It x-ed out the eyes of the parents, but before Phil could comment, it drew a few other smaller piglins, each holding pointy sticks. Then it drew an arrow, and at its point sketched two more bigger piglins laying on the ground with x-ed out eyes. A final piglin, smaller, was drawn off to the side, staring down at the carnage.

Phil had no fucking idea what any of this meant, but one thing was clear: dead parents.

“Shit,” He mumbled to himself, “God, alright.” So that’s why it had been so far from its pack. It had been clearly ostracized or something or other.

The kid had already gotten bored of this and was passing by him. Phil ignored it as it went.

He hadn’t meant to domesticate a piglin, or whatever the hell he’d done. He’d just wanted some damn glowstone. Staring down at the picture, though, he figured it was a bit incredible. Had nobody ever done this before? He didn’t know anyone to ask. The laws of their world were complicated to learn, but usually there was at least some way to find out about it. Nothing was unwritten. Nothing undiscovered. Until now, it seemed.

The child was gone, Phil realized, blinking back awake. He frantically straightened up and tried to see where it went off to. The door to the house was unopened, so it must’ve been outside, still.

He thankfully didn’t have to search much. The kid was sitting in his garden, cracking fistfuls of carrots with its dull teeth. It looked up at him as he approached, unamused, but clearly having a good time in its own right.

What if he shoved it back in and broke the portal? Would it continue to wander alone? Would it be neglected even more because of its transformation?

And when Newton watched the apple fall, did he take a bite without thought, or did he write it down and nurture the thought until it blossomed into a tree of its own and grew roots so deep it would clutch the world forever?

Phil stared at the kid a long time. The kid stared back.

He went over and crouched in front of it, pointing to the carrot in its hand. “Carrot.” He said simply.

The kid blinked at him.

“Carrot,” He repeated. He said nothing else. No explanation, just “carrot.” He said it over and over again, a mantra, until the word lost meaning and bubbled in the air around him. The kid glanced between the vegetable in its clutch and him over and over, brow furrowed in total concentration. It probably had never had to think so much in its little life.

“Carrot,” Phil insisted.

The kid looked down at the carrot with a stare so intense that the carrot must have felt intimidated.

Then finally, with the smallest voice, it pointed and asked, “Crat…?”

Phil sighed. They had a long way to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my [Tumblr](https://lacystar.tumblr.com)!


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